Who? Me?

I am not certain, but I think I am being pursued by federal agents. I don't recall ever receiving an email from ebay, but there was one this morning -- all in Spanish! Now, I did take Spanish in high school but have even forgotten that questions begin with an upside down questioon mark.

Why would anyone be after me? Could it be because of the ridiculous circumstances that led me to my nom-de-plume for ebay. At the time I signed up for ebay, I was heavily into research for the book I was trying to write. You know the one... Jessie: the story of a genteel lady in frontier Alaska? Daily, I was listening to a taped reading of Charles Dickens's Pickwick Papers. If that 500-plus page tome had not been Jessie's favorite, I would never have attempted reading it. Forgive me; I digress. Let's see; where was I? Ahh, yes! Feds chasing me.

I was trying to register on ebay to purchase a highly recommended book on the Yukon and I was determined to do it on my own. But (as you probably know) every identification I tried had been taken: name? date of birth? name of firstborn grandchild? song titles? every visible item in the room? Finally, I came across one that worked...place of birth (Texas) plus present reading material (pickwick papers). Only problem was that made my i.d. so lengthy. Using my noggin, I abbreviated Texas and removed the word Papers. It was only after the deed was done that I noticed I had somehow dropped the first k in the book title--thus, the invention of txpicwick. So... do you think the g-men think I might be an illegal alien?

I proved my ineptitude in Spanish back a few years ago when John and I visited our son in Venezuela. Angel, the guard/doorman, was trying to tell me something about "esposa" as he pointed to the neighbor's front door. In return I was trying to tell him we were feeding the neighbor's cat while they were away. Not even knowing the word for "cat" or "away," I seem to recall that "casa" and hand motions were my best bet. Finally, he led me to that portal, turned the key in the lock, turned the knob, and opened the door carefully so the cat would not escape, revealing John sitting at a table viewing the city below. Turns out Angel was trying to tell me that my husband (spouse) was locked out of our apartment so he had placed him inside the neighbor's. I guess John could not rouse me from my siesta.